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长这么大读过的书里对国内农村厕所最生动的描写

现代的城市里长大的PPL 可能不会有这种经验,我小的时候是在西南一个小县城里长大的。那时候还用的是集体蹲厕(squat)。头上是昏黄无力的15瓦灯泡。外面是黑夜,呼呼的风吹过田野。胆子小的要结伙上厕所。解开裤子蹲下往下看,花花黄黄一片(Excrement)。往前看正前方墙上有无数可疑的痕迹:烟头噌下的黑灰,擤鼻子随手甩下的鼻涕,新鲜的陈旧的痰迹,当然少不了意淫诽谤文学...
蹲着无聊了,只好数蠕动的蛆,计算他们的爬行速度。

最近读 Sir Chris Bonington 和 Charles Clarke 的 Tibet's Secret Mountain : The Triumph of Sepu Kangri, 讲述他们96年-98年几次挑战Sepu Kangri的故事。

其中Charles 对蹲厕有段生动的描写:
The resthouse was welcome, but Mrs Donkar’s lavatories were unusual. On expeditions in Asia we are both used to the lack of privacy and the closeness to reality when dealing with waste matter. There were several loo issues here. The first was the problem of access to the row of stalls at the bottom of the garden past the well…it led past a Tibetan carpenter’s workshop to two rows of cells. We found the Chinese signs for male and female difficult to interpret at the best of times, but here the paint had faded away…
We were to discover that both rows, of male and female stalls, were much the same. Excrement was piled high under each concrete hole over which we squatted; each pyramid would collapse and melt into a foetid stream which drifted slowly down to the Salween. The stench was indescribable. I was not acclimatised to this real travel; I gagged and retched. In the gloom what looked like a leaf on the floor flickered, caught in a draught. And then another, and another. It soon became apparent that the entire concrete floor, and the lower wall were moving in a writhing carpet of maggots. Later, when we had become accustomed to these realities, these lavatories seemed entirely normal. It became fun to tease the maggots, too. One shout and they would all freeze in a unision, to resume their sinuous dance a few seconds later.

我那时候咋没想过大叫一声吓唬吓唬蛆呢?
jpfan
让你见识一下中文描写,这还只是朴素的学生语言。。。

厕所里见过的强人(ZT)

回首往昔不觉已经拉了22年的粑粑~~~~

与我一起拉过粑粑的不记其数,但是在和你有一厕之缘的人中总有几个使你影响深刻终
生难忘~~~~当你在粑粑时偶然回想定会觉得,,,人生是精彩的~~

案例
1.神威无敌型.在他粑粑过后整个厕所方圆20米内无人敢经过,只有几只狗狗闻"香
"而去,跑的老欢

2.雷霆万钧型.你在惬意的抽着烟,他来了,貌不惊人默默无语的在你身边蹲下.突然
一阵惊雷响起,然后是余威震震.你呆住了,刚拉出一半还挂在上面的粑粑猛然又缩回
去了.此后半天你耳鸣不止.

3.内功高手型.在你身边蹲下.然后他开始运气,你只觉阵阵低吼传来,转头一看:他
双目圆睁,双手握拳,双腿发抖,满脸通红,你甚至能感受到阵阵内力四溢.1分钟后
他开始收功你好奇一看,一根筷子粗细,筷子长短的粑粑安静的躺在水漕里

4.悠然自得型.你去小便时他蹲在那里哼着小曲,过了5分钟你去粑粑时他还在那里哼
着小曲.5分钟后你离开时他还在那里哼着小曲.

5.暴风骤雨型.你已经开始擦拭了,他进来了.你裤子刚拉好他已经离开了,你好奇的
往他那个坑一看,"好大一坨冒着热气"你开始羡慕他,哎年青真好啊,肠道好啊~

6.认真学习型.下课间,一个学生飞快的跑到这里蹲下,然后拿出练习本和笔.开始做
作业~哎,,,长大了肯定是个大学生,你感叹到~

7.惜屎如金型,和你一起蹲下和你一起走的,也用了纸,你不经意往他的坑一看,吓
!啥也没有


9.飞流直下型,他刚蹲下,你听到了流水的声音,而且是伴随着汩汩的声音.不觉钩
起了你以前拉肚子时的悲惨往事

10.惜纸如金型..他结束了,然后掏出了一小片如日历大小的6开小纸,在你玩味的
眼神里他在后面居然连续擦了好几次,然后神态自若的走开

11.浪费纸张型.他拿出了一整张扬子晚报,揉碎后一撕两半,一半一次,他走后你看
着被报纸挡住的坑口发呆

12.三八型..在你拿着个手机在你身边聊个不停,起来时还用脖子夹着继续聊,,,
你会觉得他是个珍惜光阴的人

13.淘气型.蹲下.然后拿着个笔在墙上下了一段一段的句子,,,你会觉得他在练字

14.倒霉型.他拿纸擦了一下,然后他猛然缩手,你好奇一看:好大一片黄金

15.最找抽型.你在粑粑,他就盯着你看,,你真恨不得直接把他的头塞进粪坑

16. 有个便秘的,拉了半天拉不出来,然后旁边跑来一个拉肚子的,巨快。便秘的说
:兄弟,偶真羡慕你亚~~。拉肚子的说:羡慕个屁,我裤子还没脱呢。。。

17. A上完厕所回来说,B在厕所里象”伦敦上空的鹰“
B不服,说A在厕所里象“狮身人面像”。

18. 一学高分子的哥们,经常做有机高分子合成实验失败。是这么形容的:“不溶不融不熔的XXX”
ascot
没敢细读,最恶的恐怕是余华笔下那个被%¥%¥淹死的人,没有细节描写,但有充分想象空间
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