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http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,3604,883616,00.html
Tuesday January 28, 2003
The Guardian
Oriental studies
Enter the Geordie
"It's a great challenge for me," Paul Gascoigne said yesterday. "I like challenges."
Which is lucky. The announcement this week that one of the greatest English footballers of his generation has signed to a team which plays in the Chinese second division, and - perhaps more notably - in the middle of the Gobi desert, has been described by observers as many things; "a challenge" was the least of them.
The player formerly known as Gazza confirmed yesterday that he has joined Gansu Tianma, a team so ropey that it struggles to scrape along the bottom of the Chinese B league, as player-coach. Known as the "Heavenly Horses", Tianma may not quite have the pedigree of Spurs, Lazio or Rangers, some of the 35-year-old player's former employers, but among the residents of Lanzhou, where the team is based, he can expect at least a captive audience. The city is the last major conurbation west of Beijing for 1,000 miles.
The Chinese embassy in London was unable to locate anyone yesterday who had set foot in Lanzhou, or was even in a position to venture an opinion on what Gascoigne - known in China as "Jia Jia" - could expect on his arrival next month. But Lanzhou is not entirely without distinction. It has been an important garrison town on the Yellow river since the days of the Silk Route. There are some fine ancient monuments in the area, if you're prepared to go out of town a bit. And it was recently judged the most polluted place on earth.
Thanks to the happy confluence of its energy consumption (6.4m tons of coal a year) and its topography (for 300 days a year it has no wind), Lanzhou has achieved the estimable distinction of being twice as polluted as Beijing, itself hardly Geneva on a crisp spring morning. Just breathing in Lanzhou is the equivalent of smoking 40 fags a day, making cotton facemasks obligatory for most of its three million residents. Things got so bad, in fact, that in the late 90s the city resolved to demolish the 900ft Big Green Hill overlooking the city, in order to let some of the filth out - to the understandable chagrin of residents whose ancestors were buried there.
For the manifestly out of shape Gascoigne (a deal with the Beijing club Liaoning reportedly fell through earlier this month because of doubts over his match fitness), chuffing around after the ball - if he can see it - in the midst of a peasouper may prove one professional hurdle too far. But Zhong Bohong, the Tianma's manager, seems determined to be more forgiving: "If he can't play 90 minutes during the match, we can ask him to play 45. Or even 15." He went on to express his hope that Gascoigne would function as the "spiritual leader" of the team. Clearly he had heard of JiaJia's avowed affection for fog on the Tyne.
Esther Addley