From The Times:
SATURDAY DECEMBER 29 2001

Mel Webb recalls who said what in sport in 2001
FOOTBALL

"I have no doubts whatsoever that Germany will
quite clearly thrash England. They will easily
qualify for the World Cup with this match."

Uli Hoeness, former Germany international, looks
forward to the World Cup qualifying clash in
Munich

"I"m not ashamed to lose to England, but to lose
like that on home soil will leave scars for life."

Oliver Kahn, Germany captain, after England"s 5-1
victory

"It was a good time to score."

David Beckham"s masterly understatement after his
last-minute free kick against Greece books
England"s place at the World Cup finals

"He is one of the best five players in the world.
I don"t like him because he is handsome,
obviously, but because it appears so easy for him
to score goals."

Roberto Carlos lauds Beckham

"He could come from Mars, I"m not bothered. As
long as we win the World Cup or European
Championship."

Rio Ferdinand on the arrival of Sven-G鰎an
Eriksson as the England head coach

"Maybe it is better to weep in a Rolls-Royce than
on the bus."

Eriksson after saying he did not think life as a
highly paid manager had changed him as a person or
made him happier

"Everyone knows that for us to get a penalty we
need a certificate from the Pope and a letter from
the Queen."

Sir Alex Ferguson bemoans Manchester United"s fate
at the hands of referees

"I try to maintain control, try to stay calm. But
the red mist sometimes descends 棤and once that
happens, 50,000 people would not be able to stop
me bursting into a fit of rage."

Keane on his sending-off in Manchester United"s
4-3 defeat away to Newcastle United

"As a player you are nothing more than a piece of
meat, nothing more than cattle. I had a
conversation with Roy Keane about it and he
agreed, saying: 慣hey sold you like a cow." He
sold me behind my back because he had problems
about his own reputation."

Jaap Stam on Ferguson after he was sold to Lazio

"It was a footballing decision, you must believe
me. It had nothing to do with his autobiography."

Ferguson on accusations that Stam was sold because
of his book

"At times like this, football, and sport
generally, doesn"t seem to matter that much any
more."

Ryan Giggs on hearing that Manchester United"s
Champions League match against Olympiakos had been
called off after the September 11 terrorist
attacks in the United States

"I think there should be more common sense from
referees. This is a man"s game 棤unless the FA
want us to walk out with handbags and wearing
lipstick."

Paul Ince, Middlesbrough midfield player

"When I talk to managers and they tell me about a
defender who is 慻ood on the ball", my reaction
is: 慜h Christ!" I don"t like that."

Jack Charlton assesses the talents of Rio
Ferdinand, the man filling his old role at Leeds
United

"When I arrived, I think they put the stocks up,
but I made sure the bread was soft and the
tomatoes had all gone."

Gordon Strachan attends a forum for Coventry
supporters

"I wasn"t talking behind Stuart"s back. He didn"t
know I was talking to Gordon."

Rupert Lowe, the chairman of Southampton, puts his
foot firmly in his mouth after sacking Stuart Gray
and appointing Strachan as manager

"Statistics are just like miniskirts 棤they give
you good ideas but hide the most important
things."

Ebbe Skovdahl, the manager of Aberdeen

"You could have Mickey Mouse in charge on
Saturday. You could stick a bucket out there with
a mop in it or a potato with a carrot for a nose.
It doesn"t matter. No one needs motivating to work
hard for this match."

Ian Atkins, the Carlisle United manager, prepares
for an FA Cup tie against Arsenal

"I do not honestly see Arsenal finishing in the
top five in the league — and you can forget the
Champions League."

Patrick Vieira"s reported comments in a national
newspaper on his reasons behind wanting to leave
Arsenal

"Vieira ought to look in the mirror. He"s
complaining that we don"t win any silverware, but
he played in the team and should take some of the
blame. It would have helped if he"d not been sent
off quite so often."

Peter Hill-Wood, the Arsenal chairman

"People have been fantastic. I don"t have to
decorate my kitchen — it"s covered in cards."

Dave Jones returns to football management with
Wolverhampton Wanderers after clearing his name in
court

"Mr Bates, Colin Hutchinson and Gianfranco Zola
all told me how important I am to the club. Even
my Mum was upset I might be leaving and said I
can"t."

Dennis Wise on his enduring love affair with
Chelsea

"I don"t really like the North. It"s always
raining, it"s very cold and I don"t like all those
little houses."

Fr嶮廨ic Kanouté, the West Ham United forward

"At Arsenal we produce a paper which binds every
agent at the time of the contract to agree that he
cannot take the player anywhere else or offer him
around without our permission. Believe it or not,
I make the agent swear on the Holy Bible."

David Dein, the vice-chairman of Arsenal

"Those sort of demands, frankly, are ridiculous.
At a certain level it all gets out of reason and
out of kilter. It will all end in tears. We are
not prepared to do this with our club."

David Buchler, vice-chairman of Tottenham Hotspur,
on Sol Campbell"s wage demands

"My decision has been based purely on football. I
have been at Spurs for ten years and my commitment
to the club during that time is there for all to
see."

Campbell confirms his decision to leave White Hart
Lane. He later joins arch-rivals Arsenal

"Even Jesus Christ only had one Pontius Pilate — I
had a whole team of them."

Ken Bates after his resignation from the board of
Wembley National Stadium Ltd

"I made an inquiry, but when we heard his wages we
could maybe have taken him on loan for a week."

Ivano Bonetti, the player-manager of Dundee, on
his attempt to sign Benito Carbone

"I think managing the football team is hard enough
without going on to the board and deciding whether
to sack myself or not."

Martin O"Neill, the manager of Celtic, on the
possibility of taking a seat on the board of
directors

"They are my old club and I hate to speak badly of
them, but they are crap."

Rodney Marsh on Manchester City

"In my time at Tottenham, I made lots of mistakes,
but possibly the biggest was employing him."

Sir Alan Sugar, the former Tottenham chairman,
snipes at George Graham, one of his former
managers

"We"re a little club trying to do our best. Long
may the adventure continue."

David O"Leary, the manager of Leeds United, gets
all humble as his side progress in the Champions
League

"The players weren"t allowed to swap shirts at the
end. I think they got them in a supermarket when
they arrived in Australia."

Archie Thompson, the Australia forward, after
scoring 13 goals as his team inflicted a 31-0
defeat on American Samoa

"All I"ve got to do is get the accent right now."

Clinton Morrison, the Crystal Palace forward,
after pledging his allegiance to Ireland

"The only analogy that I can use is that it"s a
couple of people that I care a lot about that are
in the middle of a divorce."

Terry Burton, the manager of Wimbledon, on the
club"s proposed move to Milton Keynes

"I can confirm we will not be erecting crosses on
the side of the stadium or holding mass weddings
on the pitch."

David Davies, the chief executive of QPR, after
reports linking the club with a takeover bid by
the Moonies, a religious cult

"There"s no point bringing in a striker who
doesn"t score goals — we"ve got some of them
already."

Dave Bassett assesses Leicester City"s firepower

"No disrespect to Livingston, but being with them
it is only a stepping stone for me. I have no
doubt that God will promote me to bigger things
than Livvy. He is a God of miracles, after all."

Marvin Andrews, the Livingston defender

"I was there the night Jock Stein died and I know
where Bobby Robson is coming from, but I want to
go when I"m in bed with my beautiful young wife."

Graeme Souness, the manager of Blackburn Rovers
and triple heart-bypass patient, on the stress
that management can bring

"This is an act of malevolence by arrogant,
self-indulgent clubs — particularly Arsenal. They
have forgotten Australia is no longer some sort of
penal colony subservient to some decaying feudal
empire."

Ian Holmes, the chief executive of Soccer
Australia, on the row over selection of
European-based players for the friendly against
France in Melbourne

"We have had about a hundred applications from
people who are good at Sony PlayStation and
five-a-side football."

David Taylor, the chief executive of the Scottish
Football Association, on the process of selecting
a new national team manager

"If we compare ourselves to Chelsea with the
money, it is like the sky and the ground."

Shimon Gershon, captain of Hapoel Tel-Aviv, after
the Israeli team had knocked Chelsea out of the
Uefa Cup

"They are like two old girls in Sauchiehall Street
raising their skirts to any league that walks
past."

Keith Wyness, the Aberdeen chief executive,
suggests that Rangers and Celtic should abandon
plans to play outside Scotland

"I think people would say it was inevitable that
Andy would get pushed, because everything points
to Andy doing a bad job."

Mike Flynn, the captain of Stockport County, after
Andy Kilner loses his job as manager

"Carl Cort."

Shola Ameobi, the Newcastle forward, when asked
what his manager, Bobby Robson, one of whose many
strengths is his inability to remember people"s
names, calls him

RUGBY

"We"ve been together 3½ days and we haven"t been
to the pub yet."

Donal Lenihan, the manager of the British Isles
squad in Australia, defines the difference between
the professional 2001 Lions and the 1989 party, of [Image]
which he was a member

"Will you be doing the haka?"

A somewhat confused Spanish journalist quizzes
Eddie Jones, the Wallabies coach, before the
historic Spain v Australia international

"The RFU run the game no better than a parish
council. I have enormous admiration for the RFU in
deciding to do nothing — they are past masters at
it. No one could be more adept at it."

Malcolm Pearce, the millionaire owner of Bristol
Shoguns

"They have missed an absolute diamond and I"m
thrilled to bits. I hope they"re crying into their
caviar."

Maurice Lindsay, the chairman of Wigan Warriors,
after Kris Radlinski decided against a switch to
rugby union

"That"s typical of the Poms. If they go back far
enough, they could probably take half our side."

Chris Anderson, the coach of the Australia rugby
league team, on Great Britain"s decision to call
up Michael Withers, the Australian-born full back,
for the Ashes series

CRICKET

"He was my first England captain, my first England
opening partner, he stands next to me and bores
the pants off me at slip 棤he"s a great guy."

Mark Butcher pays a glowing tribute to the
retiring Michael Atherton

"They are human beings and used to appealing in
these conditions, where the ball is always turning
and keeping low. We tend to be appealing all the
time."

Sanath Jayasuriya, the captain of Sri Lanka,
defends his players after four are fined after the
first Test against England

"This English team are hanging on to excuses (for
example, injuries, toss, bad luck, dropped
catches). By gradually taking each of these away,
ultimately there is no place to hide."

An excerpt from a memo to the Australia team from
John Buchanan, their coach

"I was the proudest Yorkshireman when we won the
championship. I played two games and I contributed
in both."

Darren Gough denies he wants a move away from
Yorkshire

"India is one of the most exciting places to tour.
We played to crowds in excess of 20,000 during the
World Cup in "97 and I can"t wait to play there
again."

Clare Connor, England women"s captain, takes a
subtle side-swipe at England"s male refuseniks

BOXING

"Boxing in essence is not a sport. It creates
several physical troubles, like teeth problems,
and leads to madness. It should be globally
banned."

Mawlawi Qalamuddin, Taleban Sports Minister

"This was my first loss and I take it like a
champion. It doesn"t mean much to me if I"m behind
or not in a fight, the fact is that I hold these
guns in my right and left hands."

Naseem Hamed remains defiant after suffering his
first defeat, against Marco Antonio Barrera

"Boy, I can"t believe it. I didn"t even see it."

Lennox Lewis is sensationally knocked out by Hasim
Rahman in South Africa

"You come to expect it from people when you create
a monster and that"s obvious for all the world to
see in the way he behaves and treats people."

Frank Maloney after his acrimonious split with
Lewis

TENNIS

"Some days at practice I could go out and beat
anybody, but then there are days when I could lose
to my grandmother."

Greg Rusedski

"Both Gorans were nervous. I said: 慓uys, guys,
one has to be under control," but they were both
going. One was rushing and the other one was
rushing even more. Then the third one came and
said: 慓uys, relax. It"s a lovely court, relax,
just calm down." The third one had to come. He"s
the emergency one. I call 911 and he came on
deuce. Calm down, two aces, thank you. The third
Goran is the brain man."

Goran Ivanisevic, the Split personality, on his
way to winning Wimbledon

GOLF

"This will go down as one of the top moments in
our sport. I"m very proud to have made it."

Tiger Woods after winning the 2000 Masters, his
fourth major tournament in succession

"He has got creativity and imagination and the
biggest set of balls in golf."

Butch Harmon on Tiger Woods

"It"s the biggest mistake he will make in his
life. He said to me on the first hole: 慪ou"re
going to go ballistic here, we have two drivers in
the bag." At that moment I felt I had just been
kicked in the teeth. It"s the ultimate sin for a
caddie, but I"m not going to sack him."

Ian Woosnam after Miles Byrne makes a costly
mistake at the Open. Byrne eventually gets the
sack for oversleeping

"You drive for show and you putt for dough. I
couldn"t buy a putt, not even with a million
dollars."

Pierre Fulke, the Swedish golfer, after losing the
Accenture World Match Play final, and the $1
million first prize, to Steve Stricker, of the
United States

SNOOKER

"There was a touch of the Anne Robinsons about the
way I played."

John Parrott feels he was the weakest link in
England"s defeat by Northern Ireland in the
Nations Cup

ATHLETICS

"The Russians said we were out of order. But they
are the ones who are out of order. You have to
stand up for what you believe in."

Paula Radcliffe after staging her anti-drugs
protest against Olga Yegorova at the World
Championships in Canada

"Let"s be honest, I ran like a lemon 棤and lemons
don"t run."

Daniel Caines, Britain"s world indoor champion,
after finishing sixth over 400 metres in Seville

SQUASH

"I have tended to wear my kilt occasionally and I
think you"ll find I still will at any black-tie
do."

Peter Nicol, the world No 1, stuns the sport by
defecting from Scotland to England

MOTOR RACING

"If you weren"t a rally driver, you wouldn"t be
able to be as demanding and snotty as you normally
are."

Colin McRae to Richard Burns, British rally rival
and new world champion

"He is just a prat. I don"t want him to win."

McRae on Burns again before the Network Q Rally of
Great Britain

"I misheard the pace notes."

McRae after crashing spectacularly out of the
Network Q on only the second stage

"This is not good because it is another driver I
have to look over my shoulder at 棤and his name is
still Schumacher. You wonder whether there will be
another one along in a minute."

David Coulthard after Ralf Schumacher, brother of
world champion Michael, beat him to win the San
Marino Grand Prix, the German"s first Formula One
victory

"It is a real shame that I have earned so much
money because we really don"t need it. It"s rather
a burden."

Bernie Ecclestone, Formula One"s ringmaster, after
being named Britain"s highest earner in 2000 with
£788 million

"Rallying in Kenya is being ruined by naked fans,
drivers have complained. They say people who peel
their clothes off and wave at passing drivers pose
a safety risk."

Report in Kenya"s Daily Nation newspaper

MOTORCYCLING

"It"s a mosquito bite."

The explanation of Max Biaggi, the motorcyclist,
for turning up to a press conference in Barcelona
with a bloodied face. He had just been involved in
a brawl with Valentino Rossi, bitter rival and now
world champion

"The only people who bother me here are Italians —
unfortunately, London seems to be full of
Italians."

Valentino Rossi, the world 500cc grand prix
champion, explains his decision to move from Italy
to Knightsbridge

"Foggy"s never been the type to blow smoke up your
backside."

Neil Hodgson acknowledges that it is hard getting
a compliment out of Carl Fogarty, superbike legend

RACING

"Its participants are large animals ridden by
small men at high speed in close proximity. The
opportunity for injury is abundant and the choices
available to jockeys to avoid or reduce risks are
limited."

Mr Justice Holland offers his view on racing at
the end of the landmark civil case brought by
Peter Caldwell against Mick Fitzgerald and Adrian
Maguire

"We are all absolutely shattered, but I think it
must have been fate. It is an amazing way to be
beaten. What are the odds on coming unstuck on 23
grazing sheep?"

Edward Gillespie, the managing director of
Cheltenham, after the postponement of the Festival
meeting in March because of foot-and-mouth

"This has to rank alongside Red Rum"s three Grand
Nationals and Frankie Dettori"s magnificent seven
as one of the best ever days for punters."

Chris Bell, the chief executive of Ladbrokes, on
the abolition of betting tax

"There are excitements every year. You simply
cannot have a calm, relaxed Grand National. It
just doesn"t happen. That"s just the way it is."

Charles Barnett, the managing director of Aintree,
before the Martell Grand National

"I can only assume that 90 per cent of those who
called the conditions unsafe were too lazy to
leave the bar."

Charlie Egerton takes a swipe at those who were
critical of the Grand National being run. Only two
of the 40 runners completed without mishap

"There are a lot of good young clerks coming
through in racing and they"ve been waiting for me
to go. I"m sure a lot of them have been reading
the death columns."

Hugo Bevan retires after 27 years as a clerk of
the course

揂lmost 90 stitches were stapled in. When I was in
Dubai, they tried an injection to make the scar
disappear, but I"m stuck with it. I"m not planning
to do any modelling, though."

Kieren Fallon talks about the legacy of the
surgery he had on his left arm after a bad fall at
Royal Ascot the previous season

"You can"t get in, you can"t see, you can"t get a
drink, but everyone is having a ball. There"s no
place like it."

Michael Chapman, the trainer, on the delights of
Cartmel racecourse.

[This message has been edited by newlight (edited 02 January 2002).]